Thousands of comments have flooded our social media from people all over the world. We’ve received countless messages of encouragement and gratitude for what we do at Maddie’s Place. It’s been incredible.
Naturally, with all these uplifting comments come the negative ones as well. There is no need to go into detail, but feeling this blind judgement towards the parents of our babies gave me just a glimpse of what they must experience outside of Maddie’s Place.
It’s heartbreaking.
But commenting negatively on social media is easy. You scroll, you see something that rubs you the wrong way, you type, you post. Considerate research before commenting is not included in mindless scrolling.
My heart aches when I see people on social media and in the world write a person off because they are struggling with addiction.
Why?
Because of stories like David and Kayla’s.
Judgement was the first reaction they expected to receive when they first walked through the doors of Maddie’s Place. Instead, the receptionist smiled at them.
“I was terrified. The first time coming here and being a drug addict for 19 years and going somewhere like this, I thought, ‘Oh man I am going to be judged the second I walk in,’ but it was nothing like that at all – complete opposite actually” (David).
David was introduced to substances at a young age. With his mother a severe alcoholic and with other extended family members struggling with drug addictions, it did not take long for David to find himself wrapped up in that world as well.
For many years, his addiction was casual, just a habit. But around age 28, it became a lifestyle. Using felt like his only option, because if he didn’t, he would get terribly sick.
For Kayla, addiction greeted her at age thirty. Her life had come to an overwhelming halt with the onset of the pandemic. When she was told she could no longer work at her business of 10 years, and other life complications threatened to consume her, she turned to meth supplied by her former boyfriend.
Kayla spent the entirety of the lockdown by herself smoking meth. When the restrictions were lifted, she thought she could drop the habit and get back to work. But at that point, she had spiraled too far into depression, anxiety, and addiction. She lost her business, lost her place, lost herself.
When David and Kayla first met, they were inseparable. “You find someone out there who is struggling with the same thing, and you just cling onto them” (David). Life was by no means glamorous but being together helped. They lived in Kayla’s car and various drug houses, hopeful that their lives might look different one day.
Seven months later, they discovered they were pregnant with their first baby together. Kayla tried many different programs and detox centers to get sober, but it proved too difficult.
So, when their baby girl, Debra, finally arrived at the hospital, Kayla was kicked out for smoking in the bathroom.
It was devastating, and guilt weighed heavily on Kayla’s heart. She always wanted to be a mom, but earlier in life, she was told she could not have kids.
Debra was a miracle child. But addiction’s grip on her life felt immovable.
Life began to change when the hospital social worker referred them to Maddie’s Place.
While Debra began her recovery in our nursery, Kayla and David worked to get sober and get into Rising Strong, a holistic, family centered drug treatment and housing program through Catholic Charities. But fighting for sobriety was a hard battle.
“Us choosing to not be here (Maddie’s Place) more was 100% because we were so wrapped up in our usage. I feel like that guilt was really hard on me. But once I went through detox and got sober, then I wanted to be with her all of the time” (Kayla).
And after a little while, they both successfully made it through detox and into Rising Strong with each other and their baby girl at the forefront of their minds.
From there, they visited more frequently and started preparing for the journey of parenting ahead of them. And with the support and kindness of the Mom Team, the nurses, and the infant care specialists, they felt right at home.
When Debra’s discharge arrived, Maddie’s Place set David, Kayla, and Debra up with various infant care items they would need and made sure to check in on them even after they had left.
About seven months later, Maddie’s Place offered David a job as our Visitation Coordinator. He took it in a heartbeat and Kayla began volunteering.
“Being able to give back to a place that opened such an amazing door for us and really cared for our baby…feels good” (David and Kayla).
And, wow, have they been such a sweet addition to our team. As the Visitation Coordinator, David can meet visiting parents right where they are at and demonstrate that a healthy and sober life is possible for their families.
Today, David and Kayla are close to graduating from the Rising Strong program and are excited to move into their first apartment together with David’s two boys, Debra, and a baby boy born this week!
“You gave us hope when we didn’t have hope” (Kayla).
David and Kayla’s story is witness to the ability of the person in your life to come out on the other side of addiction. Are you willing to be an encourager and friend to those struggling the most? Or would you rather stick to scrolling? I don’t have all the facts behind those negative comments. But I know you have the power to make an impact on the people around you.
What will you choose?
Questions? Suggestions? Email me at emma.jones@maddiesplace.org
This blog was posted on May 17, 2024.