They say that you are who you spend most of your time with. So, if your best friends are readers, chances are you might be a book nerd yourself. Or perhaps you are an outdoor enthusiast. Then I am willing to bet that you have got some of your closest pals on the slopes with you. This well-known idea proposed by the motivational speaker Jim Rohn is not far from the truth.
It is more than an external observation. “Studies have found that activity in certain brain areas changes when other people are around. That can affect what you choose to do” (News in Health).
This is great news if we have surrounded ourselves with people who encourage the best in us. However, if our closest people are engaging in unhealthy habits, this fact becomes a little more frightening.
Take substance abuse. A common theme I see and hear from struggling parents involves the addiction of their surrounding company.
Last week, I got to chat with one of our former moms, Cynthia, who found herself stuck in addiction due to her continued relationships with those also in active addiction.
It all started early in life at the party scene, where alcohol, weed, and party drugs were readily available. By 19, harder drugs like meth came into the picture as she resided in that company.
Fast forward to January of 2023, Cynthia’s third child, Cooper, was born addicted to fentanyl. Per her CPS worker’s recommendation, Cynthia agreed to go to Maddie’s Place for her and her baby’s recovery but had no idea what to expect from a new organization.
However, upon arrival, she was immediately able to relax. Friendly faces greeted her. The staff got her settled in her new room. Cynthia clearly saw what great care Cooper was receiving, allowing her the opportunity to take some much-needed respite.
Within the first week of care, Cynthia witnessed her baby take huge steps in recovery. The combination of a low stimulus environment, a feed on demand model, and the direct care from mom allowed for Cooper’s nasogastric tube to be removed quickly. Within a couple of weeks, she was even able to breast feed!
However, upon discharge, Cynthia relapsed after going home to a husband still struggling with addiction. Living in this environment paired with other overwhelming life stressors squashed any attempts to remain sober. “It’s a struggle not to give up every day,” she says.
However, she was determined. With her village of people, Cynthia was able to get back on track.
What changed? Cynthia left Cooper in her mom’s care for a time and went back to treatment.
She then moved into a transitional sober living house where she received helpful resources, accountability, and boundaries to help her successfully stay sober.
Her growing village did not stop there. She also connected with several different recovery groups and organizations like Peer Spokane or the Parent-Child Assistance Program.
As of January 2024, Cynthia is nine months sober, her CPS case is closed, Cooper is back in her care, her other two kids are with her half of the time, and she is working hard to have them back full time by July.
“I never had the courage or thought that I could do it.”
The overwhelming love and encouragement from these supporters grew Cynthia’s desire to give back and aid those struggling with addiction. Especially when it came to Maddie’s Place, I was moved by her expression of deep gratitude for the care of the staff.
She is now on the Maddie’s Place advisory board and in the parent advisory group for the Department of Children, Youth, and Families. She also starts a job this month as a Parent Ally for the Parents for Parents Organization, where she will help parents navigate the Child Welfare court process and assist them with their dependency cases.
Her mom too was impacted by the love the Maddie’s Place staff poured out on Cynthia and Cooper as she experienced in her weekly visits.
She wrote to Kim Dunham, our Director of Family Advocacy, months later saying,
“Dear Kim, this is Cynthia’s mom, and I want to thank you for all your support for Cynthia and her boys. She has come so far in this process and is doing so well. Without so many supporting her I’m not sure she would have been as successful as she has been. I appreciate you and everyone at Maddie’s Place.”
Recovery takes a village – a village of like-minded people striving to live healthy, positive lives. Cynthia’s story proves that there is hope for the hopeless. So, who is your village going to be?
Questions? Suggestions? Email me at emma.jones@maddiesplace.org
This blog was posted on January 12, 2024.