Mary was at her lowest. Drugs riddled her body. Depression clouded her spirit. After CPS took both of her daughters at birth, and Mary had no means to visit them, she felt hopeless. The only relief she experienced came from the high of drugs like fentanyl and meth. It was all that could occupy her mind– and this darkness threatened to completely extinguish the light.
One day, everything changed with a delightful discovery.
Mary was pregnant with her third child.
A flicker of light. A surge of hope. A new beginning.
“I wanted out. I wanted to be able to be a mom. I wanted it so bad.” Mary refused to let the drugs in her system prevent her from being a good mom. After her two daughters were taken away, this child felt like her third chance to get things right – and she was determined.
Mary was first introduced to drugs at a young age. She never wanted the life of a drug addict. She enjoyed school. She had a stable job. But with the constant pressure from active drug users in her household to participate, she couldn’t resist. And when her mom was sent to a mental institution for other medical concerns, Mary was swiftly kicked out of her house and left homeless.
When she lost her job, Mary supported herself by selling drugs. Her whole life seemed to be defined by addiction. Everyone around her struggled in the same way, offering no encouragement towards a healthy lifestyle.
She spent several years couch surfing and motel hopping. Life was miserable. Her depression really took a turn when she couldn’t be a mom to her two baby girls. Hope was nowhere to be found.
So, when the thrilling news came to her that she was pregnant with her third child, Mary immediately enrolled at a 26-day inpatient treatment center in Seattle, WA. After one relapse and another month at the same treatment facility, Mary moved in with her dad and began attending an intensive outpatient program.
When Mary’s pregnancy finally ended, her new baby boy, Zachariah, was born in critical condition. This resulted in his immediate transportation to Sacred Heart Medical Center in Spokane, WA.
While the doctors and nurses treated her sweet boy, Mary stayed at the Ronald McDonald House, a place of lodging for families with children receiving medical care.
On top of Zachariah’s existing medical concerns, he was also withdrawing from methadone. He cried constantly; thrashed violently; ate inconsistently. He couldn’t look anyone in the eye or even smile. There was no one to hold him close, especially while Mary was recovering from birth and intense spinal headaches that left her bedridden.
But when Zachariah approached his discharge, the hospital directed Mary to Maddie’s Place.
Upon arrival at our facility, Mary spent most of her time in her room. Because of her high methadone dose, she was unable to care for Zachariah. However, during this time, our staff met her with patience and kindness, diligently caring for her baby still suffering through his own withdrawal.
As the months rolled on and Mary’s dose decreased, her true self started to inch out. She interacted with staff more, went out into the community, provided care for Zachariah.
She felt happy. She felt alive.
“I would stay here forever if I could.”
And yet, having experienced the care and support she did at Maddie’s Place, she knows that other moms will come along needing the help that she did.
But for now, we have her with us for a little while longer. She is currently finding a new place to live as her time at Maddie’s Place ends.
It has been a true privilege to witness Mary’s journey here. Not only is her son a healthy baby and true delight, but Mary herself has grown so much in her journey of life and recovery, all the while capturing the hearts of everyone around her.
She has even found herself in the press a few times! And we couldn’t be prouder.
Catch Mary and Zachariah on KXLY, The Inlander, The Spokesman-Review, and Oregon Public Radio!
Questions? Suggestions? Email me at emma.jones@maddiesplace.org
This blog was posted on February 22, 2024.